“It’s a woman’s fault if she gets raped”: What Counts as Cultural?

College classrooms are full of difficult discussions, and moving overseas means running up against values you might not share. It’s easy enough to say that you don’t agree with a certain economic policy, or that you’d rather have large breakfasts instead of just bread and butter. But what about when you discuss highly emotional topics, ones that speak to what you believe to be right and wrong? What about when someone tells you, whether explicitly or implicitly, that it’s a woman’s fault if she gets raped?

I’ve heard variations of this multiple times since my arrival almost three months ago, from “if she goes to his house it’s not rape” to “if she wears enticing clothes then she ‘provoked’ him” to even that a scantily clad woman is the one doing the harassing –– she is harassing the public. 

"When is 'it's just a cultural thing' justified? Is it ever?" 

In 1999, a Japanese diplomat based in Vancouver faced with accusations of wife-beating responded saying it was “a cultural thing and not a big deal.” In this case, his comments were met with disgust by the Japanese public and his diplomatic immunity revoked. But numerous other practices, from physically “disciplining” children to female genital mutilation and the jailing of members of the LGBTQ+ community, are defended across the globe on the same grounds. All this prompts the question: When is “it’s just a cultural thing” justified? Is it ever? 

Cultural relativism is the idea that what is true and real is relative to a particular framework and that no standpoint is uniquely privileged over all others. In other words, moral values are relative to culture and no culture is “better” than any other. This theory has gained immense traction in the West in recent years – especially amongst the young and educated – due in part to the rise of globalization and the application of the liberal value of tolerance to courses and trainings in cross-cultural communication. 

The concept is incredibly attractive; it allows us to operate in a world in which all points of moral or ethical tension can be shrugged off with “well, we’re all different.” In a series of blogposts, philosopher and professor Leigh M. Johnson makes a compelling case against moral relativism for exactly this reason: it’s lazy. Moreover, she argues the idea that all cultures harbor different values and that these are just different, not better or worse, suggests that our own “values” aren’t values we hold at all. If you believe that “Rape is always wrong,” you cannot, by definition, also believe that rape is okay if, for example, the victim enters the house of the rapist first. And that is the incredibly demanding position cultural relativism places on her true devotees: the abandonment of any absolute value. After all, if all values and judgments are equal, the very terms value and judgment cease to mean anything at all. 

It’s clear there are times when we need to shrug and recognize that it’s not our place to try to impose our moral values. But are there also times when we should say something? And if so, when? 

"Mothers eat bitter foods so that their sons may eat sweets." 

One language partner ended a discussion on the discrimination of LGBTQ+ people in Senegal by saying, “Well you don’t like polygamy, we don’t like homosexuals. It’s the same thing.” I wanted to retort back, “No it’s not.” But if it’s not, who's to say my moral values are better than hers? Are there Universal Human Rights? And if so, is it really the West’s job to lead in crafting them? 

There is a saying in Wolof that roughly translates to “Mothers eat bitter foods so that their sons may eat sweets.” Except their daughters grow up to become mothers, and the cycle continues. This proverb is held up as an example of how devoted, how valued mothers are. I’ve heard time and again, “What do you mean women aren’t treated well? We treat our mothers like God!” And yet, it’s always women who never get a taste of the sweets. 

In the end, I’m keenly aware that we can never step outside our own moral lens. I don’t believe in moral relativism because, for better or for worse, I refuse to abandon both my values and the idea of values and judgements all together. I do believe that women should be treated equally to men. I do believe that members of the LGBTQ+ community are just as deserving of every right as heterosexuals. And I do believe that rape is always wrong. 

But, I am all the same reminded that these beliefs are largely crafted by the incredible chance occasion of being born into the family, state, and country that I was. So what counts as cultural? And if it is cultural, is that a strong enough defense? I’m left with far more questions than answers.